“There is no such thing as pure good or pure evil, least of all in people. In the best of us there are thoughts or deeds that are wicked, and in the worst of us, at least some virtue. An adversary is not one who does loathsome acts for their own sake. He always has a reason that to him is justification. My cat eats mice. Does that make him bad? I don’t think so, and the cat doesn’t think so, but I would bet the mice have a different opinion.” — Zedd
I feel as if you have to destroy something, in order to create something beautiful.
“There is magic in sincere forgiveness; in the forgiveness you give, but more so in the forgiveness you receive.”
Wizard’s Fourth Rule
There is an amazing series known as the Sword of Truth novels. In each book of the fantasy series, there is a philosophy in which each book revolves around. What I always loved about these Wizard rules is that they can be applied in every day life.
There are roughly eleven rules to do date, and I’ve always found the rule above one of the hardest to abide by. To sincerely forgive, is a difficult thing to do. I admit more often than not, it’s something I can’t do. I guess I would make a pretty shitty wizard. Recently, I’ve had a tough conversation about the mistakes I’ve made, and the ones that will potentially lie in my future. It’s hard to be exposed like that. It’s hard to discern how reputable my advisor was in the matter as well. You never know if the advice you’re getting is genuine, or experienced, or even benevolent or malicious. So I asked why I should trust the advice, how did I know that this was something to believe? I was told my father would have the answer at 19. I didn’t get it. Until I came across this verse right now, randomly, on my app.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I feel exactly that. Unrighteous. I think, and I could be wrong… That I can sincerely be forgiven in the eyes of the ones that matter. When it’s too much to bear, when i ache constantly, when i feel trapped, and I have to go back home, I hope that ill truly be forgiven for having to go back. And be welcomed home.
Everything I need to know about life, I’ve learned by playing video games. Here are a few games amongst a huge list that I’ve compiled to demonstrate this epiphany.
Mario Kart: It doesn’t matter how badass you are, at whatever you’re doing. Just when you think you’re in first place, a blue turtle shell will come hurtling out of nowhere to unfairly strip you of what you deserved. Sometimes, literally.
Super Smash Bros.: The higher percents you score in life, the easier it is for you to get knocked down. Or, you’re doing completely fine making your way back after being knocked away by life, just to get spiked.
Legend of Zelda: Always, always get new things. Once you do, realize it’s not good enough, and get something better.
Final Fantasy: Nothing really I guess. I just think the clothes and weapons are cool, and should be implemented in real life.
League Of Legends: When working in team environments, it’s
best most fun to troll and do whatever the hell you want. You can always start a new game/job/life anyway.
Super Mario Bros.: It doesn’t matter if my job sucks and I become a lowly plumber. As long as I try hard enough, I can find my princess. That, and stomping on things solves all problems.
I wonder how much impact fate has on our lives. When I was younger, I used to think about it too. Sometimes, when I would think about it, I would stop whatever I was doing, be as spontaneous as possible by acting like a madman, and feel proud of myself that I eluded fate. Until I wondered if that’s what fate wanted me to do in the first place.
I think that pondering that at a young age really led me to live the way I have thus far. I’m spontaneous, maybe a little too sponataneous, when I feel the fear of monotony creeping in on me. It hits me hardest when things aren’t getting any better without any signal that things are going to get better eventually. For example, I was working at Panasonic for three years, I made good money, had my own house at roughly 22, but I had been working I was hired as a temp and had been working there for so long and there was no sign that it was going to get any better. I was working so often, too, that I would pull 12 hour shifts easily, and still have to be stuck in traffic for two hours son average. I didn’t do anything, So, I made up my mind one day to leave it all. I could’ve handled it better, but I really don’t regret my decision, even now, as I’m saving every nickel just to get by. Not pennies. I don’t consider them real currencies, I know, I really have no grounds right now to be thinking that, but I do, and that’s a whole different rant for another time.
Anyway, I have a theory. I do believe in fate, and I do believe in free will. I feel that fate will present you with the opportunities that your faced with, and it’s up to you to make the choices from then on. Like being dropped off at a crossroads. What I wonder now, is if that isn’t the case, and fate does want a specific course of action to take place, will it direct you back to that path once you make the wrong choice? Is life more like a video game, and we are alotted tokens to continue? Does choosing the wrong path, but doing something right along the way, award you with that credit? It’s wishful thinking, but I like to think so. I do think I’ve made the wrong choices, many times, but down these wrong paths I am still presented with the choices to do right. In my mind’s crossroads, I see the wrong paths as veering left, and the right path on the aptly named other side. If I make enough right choices, I feel that eventually, I can make it to the path that I want to.